"Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line."

      I had been on hold and waiting for a customer service representative for close to half an hour.  The scratchy music was hard enough on my ears without the additional break-in suggesting that my call was "very important" to them.  My blood pressure rose, as did my boredom.

     Then I did the unthinkable.  I walked in front of my refrigerator to flop on the bed.  The cellphone signal broke.  My phone disconnected.

     Moments like this one trigger all kinds of thoughts. I had already decided that my call wasn't "very important" to them, or they wouldn't have left me on hold.  I would have dealt with a human instead of a computer, and they would have played cool music of my choosing, or at last updated to something that didn't sound like over-used vinyl. 

     I was on a role.  Living where I live didn't help the situation any, so I came up with a rapid fire listing covering some of the disadvantages:

 *There is a direct correlation between opening windows, and farmers spreading manure.

*The choices of internet are as follows:  slow, very slow, slower than that, or none.

*Cellphone signals view my house as a dead zone unless the wind is blowing in the right direction.  If the wind is blowing just right, a roaming triangle might appear on screen.  Unlimited talk/text/data to anywhere in the U.S. is a farce.  Paying federal taxes, on the other hand, are not.

*Everyone knows who you are.  (Fill in the potential reason of your choice as to why.)

*Showers of whirlybird seeds from the maples landing the gutters.

*Tractors dust settling EVERYWHERE.

*Rusty, icky, smelly water that only the devil could love.

*Ragweed, corn tassels, and soybean dust.

     It felt good to get those truths out in the open, my blood pressure lowered, and I was left with only a moderate level of hate for computerized customer-service lines.  I reanalyzed my living environment, and came up with this quick list of advantages:

*Everyone knows who you are.  (Fill in the potential reason of your choice as to why.)

* Showers of whirlybird seeds from the maples raining down in the spring.

*Watching maple syrup buckets fill, followed by eating maple syrup drippy pancakes.  ( I skipped a few steps in the process, but I’m not a part of any crew that stays up all night boiling the sap.)

*A community spring with the best-tasting water, and the folks I get to meet when we gather to fill our cooler jugs.

*Bonfires of our chosen size.

*Living with internet limitations.

*Living with cellphone limitations.

     I like where I live minus a few glitches.   Dealing with customer service isn't necessarily that bad either since I can make the call while on the clock at the office.   Everybody who deals with computerized "we care" messages should get paid for their time.  This seems only fair.