I had been on hold and waiting for a customer service representative for close to half an hour. The scratchy music was hard enough on my ears without the additional break-in suggesting that my call was "very important" to them. My blood pressure rose, as did my boredom.
Then I did the unthinkable. I walked in front of my refrigerator to flop on the bed. The cellphone signal broke. My phone disconnected.
Moments like this one trigger all kinds of thoughts. I had already decided that my call wasn't "very important" to them, or they wouldn't have left me on hold. I would have dealt with a human instead of a computer, and they would have played cool music of my choosing, or at last updated to something that didn't sound like over-used vinyl.
I was on a role. Living where I live didn't help the situation any, so I came up with a rapid fire listing covering some of the disadvantages:
*There is a direct correlation
between opening windows, and farmers spreading manure.
*The choices of internet are as
follows: slow, very slow, slower than
that, or none.
*Cellphone signals view my house
as a dead zone unless the wind is
blowing in the right direction. If the
wind is blowing just right, a roaming triangle might appear on screen. Unlimited talk/text/data to anywhere in the
U.S. is a farce. Paying federal taxes,
on the other hand, are not.
*Everyone knows who you are. (Fill in the potential reason of your choice
as to why.)
*Showers of whirlybird seeds from
the maples landing the gutters.
*Tractors dust settling
EVERYWHERE.
*Rusty, icky, smelly water that
only the devil could love.
*Ragweed, corn tassels, and
soybean dust.
It felt good to get those truths out in the open, my blood pressure lowered, and I was left with only a moderate level of hate for computerized customer-service lines. I reanalyzed my living environment, and came up with this quick list of advantages:
*Everyone knows who you are. (Fill in the potential reason of your choice as
to why.)
* Showers of whirlybird seeds from
the maples raining down in the spring.
*Watching maple syrup buckets
fill, followed by eating maple syrup drippy pancakes. ( I skipped a few steps in the process, but I’m
not a part of any crew that stays up all night boiling the sap.)
*A community spring with the
best-tasting water, and the folks I get to meet when we gather to fill our
cooler jugs.
*Bonfires of our chosen size.
*Living with internet
limitations.
*Living with cellphone
limitations.
I like where I live minus a few glitches. Dealing with customer service isn't necessarily that bad either since I can make the call while on the clock at the office. Everybody who deals with computerized "we care" messages should get paid for their time. This seems only fair.
